


My Vampire Boss

by BoiLemmeDoMe



Series: My Vampire-- [1]
Category: South Park
Genre: Biting, Blow Jobs, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Office Setting, Public Blow Jobs, Stendy, another vampire AU, clymien, cravin, dont judge, jiken, kyny
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:21:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21858220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoiLemmeDoMe/pseuds/BoiLemmeDoMe
Summary: How was it given everything, a new job, a hot boss, a chance at better living for his family and himself Kenny found himself in this predicament. Secret meetings, a biting kink, and an alleged affair?
Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Kenny McCormick
Series: My Vampire-- [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1574764
Comments: 7
Kudos: 42





	1. r/foodporn

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Co Author: My Kitten](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Co+Author%3A+My+Kitten).



This is it.

Kenny stared at the building with slight trepidation. He'd applied for every damn job on the planet--worked almost every one that didn't require a degree--and here he was standing outside of some fancy-ass law firm ready to start his cushy office job.

Despite himself, the sight of the intimidating building left his nerves rattled. It looked too fucking tall in his opinion, towering over with an oppressive presence. He actually gulped, adjusting his blouse nervously.

And here he had thought his first day working at a construction sight was scary. Power tools everywhere, such a ridiculously high potential for a painful death, but somehow this ridiculous upper class building took the cake.

He had an overwhelming feeling that he didn't  _ belong _ . What were the actual chances this place had only hired him by a fluke? The possibility tickled his thoughts. Would they take one look at his thrift store blouse and dress pants, his worn down loafers and calloused hands, and just would  _ know _ ? 

_ Know _ that they'd made a mistake.

_ Know _ that he wasn't fit for this job.

His heart trembled and he found his feet taking the initiative to push further--inside the building, towards all his fears.

This underlying fear was probably why a desperate need to _ Fit In _ elevated Kenny's pulse, walking into the building with a few other employees. He'd not even felt this pressure to 'fit in' during high school, when everyone was ‘supposed’ to feel that way… although even back then he'd been at work more than he'd ever been at school. It only made sense that this pressure would assail him in the workforce rather than a school he hadn't cared about.

The law firm was on the 36th floor, which only made him think that 36 was stupidly high from the ground. He’d never been scared of heights, or even scared of falling, but he was most certainly terrified of the ground.

The suits around him paid him little to no attention as they disembarked at their various destinations. All with identical looks of passive apathy and the sort of boredom in their step that Kenny  _ craved _ .

It reminded him all over again why he  _ needed _ this job to work. No more landing in a deep frier--no more getting crushed by concrete--today he would  _ finally _ find the sort of peace that existed for the average office worker. That tantalizing monotony that others took for granted was finally  _ his _ .

Or so he hoped.

With an uneven intake of breath the  _ ding _ of floor 36 had his legs obediently exiting with the same bored cadence that he’d just witnessed. He could pull this off--god he hoped he could pull this off--

The bustling--yet still prestigious--office greeted him and he had the sudden urge to dive headfirst back into the elevator the moment he took it in. 

A blond woman he recognized from his interview spotted him nearly as soon as he’d exited--he tried really hard to respectfully ignore her awesome rack but it was a bit hard when the red blouse she was wearing outlined it perfectly. She didn’t seem to care or notice that his eyes flickered downwards, passing him a file and quickly ushered him towards an empty desk outside of a rather large office.

"You'll be Mr. Broflovski's personal secretary.” She spoke quickly, not unkindly, but it was clear from her tone that she didn’t currently have the time or patience to deal with questions. “If you have any questions just let me know. I'm sorry, I'm a bit busy right now but wait here and I'm sure he'll introduce himself when he has a moment."

And she was gone as quickly as she’d appeared.

Kyle Broflovski lived in monotony. It was neither his friend nor his desire--but he accepted it in the same way a fussy child obediently ate his vegetables.

The day was similar to the one before that and so on and so forth. The lawyer had made sure his suit was pressed and clean, his dress shirt coordinating with his light green tie and his shoes freshly polished.

Perfectly and obsessively presentable. Kyle made it a habit to look his best every day of the week, regardless of whether or not he’d meet with a client or appear in a courtroom. Presentation wasn’t just a necessity of his profession, it was drilled into the back of his skull with burning words that made deviation impossible.

_ 'You were born better than the others, you are to act and look the part as well.’ _

The words of his father echoed in his head as he looked at his reflection, the spitting image of his mother more than his father. Curly red hair cut neatly to keep out of his face. Green eyes piercing and striking with his pale completion.

He’d never quite gotten over his life long desire to hide his impossible hair--and he found himself frowning, not for the first time, at his carefully styled curls and longing to find his old ushanka.

No matter, he had work to handle.

With everything in order Kyle made his way to his office. The same drive, the same parking spot, the same short walk to his building all without a spare thought. The same greetings as every previous days-- nodding in acknowledgement and saying brief good mornings to others as he passed them by until he made it to the elevator. By the time he made it to the 36th floor he was almost entirely moving on and speaking on muscle memory.

Until he spotted something new standing outside of his office. He hid any surprise, looking down at the blond woman in an orange blouse standing awkwardly in front of his office. He cleared his throat, hoping not to startle her. Still, his expression and tone were both severe. "Do you need anything, ma'am?"

It took Kenny a second before he realized he was being addressed--it was the nerves that won out. Automatically switching to a convincing falsetto. He had plenty of practice doing just that when he worked at a call center. It was a really convenient skill to have when anyone wanted to speak to his 'Manager'.

"I'm waiting to meet Mr. Broflovski. I'm his new secretary." He smiled at the man pleasantly, his nerves only now letting him take in the appearance of the redhead.

_ Damn _ \--if Kenny felt out of place before.. this guy practically  _ oozed _ the sort rich entitlement that belonged in a place like this. And to add insult to injury he was _ Seriously _ hot. Chiseled jaw with manicured facial hair and  _ damn _ did that tailored suit fit his body  _ just right _ .

_ '...I did not think dudes in suits were my thing before but Damn...' _ Kenny did an appreciative once over before he caught himself.

Kyle raised a brow, his expression softening ever so slightly as he considered the situation. It wouldn’t do him a lot of good to scare his new secretary.

"That would be me, though I was sure we hired a male." Kyle furrowed his brows as he unlocked his office, motioning for the young woman to follow him inside so he could pull up his recent files. "Your name, darling?"

_ 'Wow. Calling an employee darling, what a dick... wait, maybe that's normal for office work?' _ Kenny followed after obediently, not really bothering to correct him. The dude would figure it out or he wouldn't--Kenny wasn't about to tell his new boss he was wrong. "Kenny McCormick." Kenny responded, still in falsetto and smiling politely. "It's nice to meet you, sir. What would you like me to do first?"

Once the presumed female stated her name Kyle pulled up the file containing the basic information about his new employee.

Right there in black and white stated the person was to be a male, not female.

"Well ma'am, it says here that the employee is a male, care to explain?" He looked at the other skeptically as he closed the file. Beginning to think Kenny hadn't come to work on his first day.

How to answer... There were a variety of hilarious options to choose from--Kenny certainly knew how he might have answered in his trouble-making youth... but unfortunately hilarity paled in the face of keeping a steady job.

"Well, sir," He started, falsetto dying away slowly. "I believe you made an assumption when you saw me and I didn't think it was important enough to correct you."

There, honest and polite. Kenny resisted the urge to fist pump in victory. He was getting the hang of this office politics thing! Right? He looked at Kyle with barely concealed nerves for a reaction.

Alright, that was enough to get Kyle’s cheeks pink from embarrassment. A first for a long time--because of an employee no less. He composed himself quickly though--at least outwardly.

"My apologies then, though I must say your vocal range is impressive." He cleared his throat as he attempted to calm his nerves. "Anyway, at your desk there should be a small list of things for you to handle, nothing too big for your first day. If you require any help feel free to ask any of the other supervisors or myself if I'm not busy." He knew there was more he’d intended to tell his new secretary, but the words were eaten away by his desire to end this embarrassing moment as quickly as possible.

Kenny felt an unbidden smile take over his face at the compliment. He wasn't in trouble and he got to see his stupidly hot boss blushing, he was definitely counting this as a victory. It was short-sighted but ultimately the hedonist in him was going to enjoy the moment regardless of the potential consequences.

"Yes, sir. Thank you for your time!" He dared a wink as he left the office, emboldened by the compliment and finding his to-do list for the day.

It mostly consisted of phone calls--he could scoff. And people said his experience at a call center wouldn't help him in life. There were one or two away missions to retrieve dry cleaning or pick up miscellaneous items. There was an envelope with cash on the desk and strict instructions to save all receipts and change. Another swell of confidence filled him. He was more than familiar with that as well. During his time working as a runner for a production company receipts and perfect change had been his life. A lost receipt was lost money.

_ 'My work history has prepared me for this day.' _ He took to his work like a fish to water. He could do this. He could do this probably three times as well as those fancy college grads who never had to work multiple crappy jobs at once. That confidence put a metaphorical skip in his step as he ran down the list, checking off tasks one after the other.

He'd just have to make sure to go not behave out of the ordinary... well, first he'd have to figure out what was considered ordinary in an office job like this one. Even if he was capable as fuck--who knew what these upper class douche’s considered normal?

Kyle took a deep breath when he was finally alone.

Just what was that? Him,  _ blushing _ of all things… like he was some shy school girl. It grated on his nerves--and decimated his pride.

As with most things that threatened his ego, he took the only logical step; blame the other party. It only made sense he mistook the slight blond. He scoffed, putting away the employee file and starting up his computer. What did he expect? Skin and bones wearing a cheap looking blouse. His new secretary looked much more like one of his pro-bono cases than a proper part of the workforce. With any luck after that man gets his first paycheck he'll hopefully look the part of a businessman.

It simply wouldn’t do to have his secretary looking so… ambiguous.

Kyle shook off the whole unpleasant affair. He had some work to attend to of his own--

Kenny’s others smile and playful wink interrupted his focus.

He closed his eyes in frustration, counting to five to calm his nerves.

In one simple interaction Kenny McCormick had successfully disrupted his carefully maintained monotony.

He couldn’t tell whether or not he hated it… but still, he forced himself to focus. It would do no one any good to remain distracted with work piling up as fast as it does.

_ '2pm, bring the boss man some coffee.' _ Kenny was thus far  _ Nailing _ today. Sure, Today had started out playing hard to get but Kenny was a smooth motherfucker and no non corporeal representation of time could resist his charm for long. With swagger that others could only dream of, he’d had his way with the day and left it moaning for more.

He'd not needed to ask for assistance thus far, which he was rather proud of, and he'd already completed all of the items on his to-do list that weren't time specific. Speaking of...

He knocked politely at Mr. Broflovski's door, a steaming mug of coffee in hand and hoping for praise. As much as he knew he’d left today completely pleasured--a guy can’t help but want some validation.

Besides, he’d earned it, he’d been busting his ass since he started. In Kenny's eagerness to get shit done he'd even skipped his lunch break but he figured that would be okay, it wasn't the first time he'd skipped a meal and it wouldn't be the last.

Kyle had successfully gotten absorbed in his case files and he was in the middle of researching a particularly boring law regarding household appliances when the knock on his door he was pulled out of his thoughts.

He’d completely lost track of just how long it had been since he started working. He was grateful for the reprive when the sound pulled him out of his thoughts.

"Come in, the door isn't locked."

Kenny entered, smiling more sincerely than he normally would on the job, his success honestly had him walking on air, and closed the door politely behind him. "I brought you your coffee, sir."

Kyle smiled politely to the other as he entered. Time and work had done their job in composing him. "Thank you, you can just set it on my desk." He leaned back in his chair, allowing himself to relax for a moment. "How are you liking your job so far?" 

Kenny placed down the mug obediently, unable to resist answering honestly. "I'm enjoying it thus far. I think I'm pretty well equipped for this line of work." Did that sound too cocky? Fuck, he couldn't remember, was cockiness a good thing or a bad thing for big soulless corporation types? "I've already completed most of the items on your list. If you'd like, I can do more." That sounded like a 'go-getter attitude', right? Go-getter's were a good thing in the workforce. He endeavored not to let the nerves show on his face, but his pulse raced anxiously with each word. 

The more he enjoyed his work, the more the prospect of losing it terrified him.

Hearing the others pulse race Kyle smiled a little more sympathetically to the other. "If that's the case, have you had your lunch break? I need you working at your best." It sounded awkward and he knew it but he couldn’t help but ruminate on the mans small frame.

It was his mother coming out, he just knew it, she couldn’t help but feed people. Especially when they were thin.

"Yep!" Kenny lied, instantly regretting it but not wanting to seem like he was incapable of taking care of both himself and his job. "I'm working at full strength, sir." That at least was true--what Kenny didn't currently have in nutrients was definitely being made up for with enthusiasm.

Doing a once over Kyle tried to see any sign of the other being fatigued but found none and decided to drop that subject. He didn’t want to become anymore like his mother in any case. "Alright, once you finish everything just be sure your desk is clean. Check with me to see if I need to have you handle something before you go for the day."

"Aye, aye, sir." Kenny mock saluted, regretting the action slightly--what if his boss thought he was being impertinent? Well, he sort of was but he didn't want to be rudely impertinent? Wait, was that a thing?

Kenny left the room somewhat wracked with nerves, looking at his to do list to see that there wasn't anything else to do until four. With a cautious glance around he fired up the company issued laptop and opened reddit.

It was normal for office workers to browse the internet, right? He hoped at least. He was pretty sure he’d seen enough memes about it that it had to be at least somewhat based in reality.

He opened up a subreddit focused on office work and decided to browse stories to confirm, absently considering whether he should just make his own thread and ask for advice.

Nah, that would be stupid. Nothing had happened that he couldn't handle. He let himself get lost in reading mundane stories of 'typical office life' instead. Lots to do with shitty bosses and a few cross-posted from r/pettyrevenge.

At least his new secretary was energetic. Kyle was again undecided as to whether or not he considered that a good thing. He returned to his research, absently sipping his coffee.

It was definitely better than his previous secretaries… he pondered the difference in taste but ultimately got lost in the minitua of his task.

While the coffee was nice to drink while it lasted the ginger found himself peckish. He ran his tongue along his canines thoughtfully, remembering the nervous and excitable sound of his new secretaries pulse.

He knew Stan would be busy, and it wasn't like he wished to call him over mid day… perhaps his new secretary could remedy this issue before he had a chance to leave. He glanced at the time on his computer screen, a good two hours since his coffee had been delivered.

Just a taste couldn’t hurt.

With a victorious clack of his keyboard as his fingers danced across them, Kenny completed the last task.

He felt more pride than he ought to for a series of miscellaneous office work but the vindication of knowing that he  _ could _ was more than enough to put him in high spirits.

They  _ had _ said they'd given him a light load for his first day, but still... He'd had time to browse the internet and finish everything assigned and there was still 20 minutes before he was supposed to clock out.

Oh yeah, today was officially his bitch.

Hoping he hadn't already made a bad impression, Kenny knocked on Mr. Broflovski's door again to check in as instructed.

Perfect.

Kyle hummed softly to himself as he opened the door. "Kenny, just who I wanted to see. Please, come in." He moved out of the way to allow the other to take a seat at his desk. He couldn’t help but honey his tone as he spoke.

_ 'Crap. I'm not in trouble, right?' _ Kenny entered and sat down obediently as his heart raced with possibilities. Was this going to be the  _ 'it's just not working out'  _ talk? Was it the wink? The salute? Oh god, had he bought the wrong coffee?

"I finished everything you asked, sir." Kenny said, hoping it would gain him some clemency. "Is there anything else you'd like?"

"Hm...now that you mention it, there is one thing I need from you." Kyle mused aloud as he shut the door behind him, quietly locking the door before moving behind the man. "Just sit still for a moment." He ordered, the command in the honeyed tones that he knew humans weren’t able to disobey. He took his time observing the curve of nape, smiling in satisfaction, before moving the man's hair away from his neck and biting deep enough to obtain his desired drink. 

Kenny gasped, the sudden pain passing through him with a jolt and tensing his muscles--and just as suddenly every bone in his body relaxed like he'd just had a long and deeply satisfying massage.

He could hardly think for a minute, the pain, shock, and sudden euphoria making his thoughts rattle in his own head. The hum of his own thoughts sounded muffled--impossible to decipher--

His eyes clenched shut instinctively from the pain--but with its sudden departure leaning his head away to allow the man more access. "Sir...?" He asked, voice breathless and distant as finally his thoughts caught up and he made the connections.

His boss just  _ Bit _ him.

_ His boss had just bit him! _

...was this normal? The boss was definitely acting like it was normal. It had been painful at first but it didn't really feel like that now--maybe it was a sexy bite? Was he getting a sexy bite!?

Wait, was this part of his secretary duties? How much of TV dramas were accurate in this regard? Were secretaries supposed to bang the boss after a days hard work?  _ Why hadn’t reddit warned him about this _ ?

Kyle disregarded the others question, sucking harshly from the cut he made. A pleased groan leaving him as he drank from the blonde. He was pleasantly surprised with how good the man tasted. Then again with all due respect it had been a minute since he fed last, with Stan due to show up sometime within the week it wasn’t much of a surprise for him to be as hungry as he was.

Kenny gasped again, a well of unfamiliar sensations filling him as Kyle sucked. He let out a tiny whimper as the confusion mounted again--

It felt good. It didn't really feel like a hickey though--lord knows he’d had enough of those to know a hickey-- and he could tell there was something strange about it.

Despite the faint sensation of pain and the odd numbing it was also... pleasurable? Shit, maybe this was some sort of strange workplace sex thing--and Kenny couldn’t honestly say opposed to that.

His heart pounded against his rib cage and the beginnings of arousal filled him.

Upon noticing the difference in the others blood Kyle couldn't help but chuckle, the sound vibrating against Kenny’s neck. His little secretary was enjoying this. Swiping his tongue along the cut to further tease the other Kyle allowed a free hand to reach forward and wrap around Kenny's chest to keep him in place. The tainted blood beginning to affect him but he restrained himself.

Kenny’s lips fell open in a silent moan. That was a tongue. His boss had officially bit  _ and _ licked him. Kenny was now very confident this was a sex thing. A weird neck-biting fetish office sex thing.

The feel of Kyle's arms restricting his movement made him wonder if he should be fighting this though--the hold was so firm. Demanding. It made him nervous but his inner hedonist wanted to see how it played out. Purely for intellectual reasons.

It wasn’t at all to do with the way Kyle's chuckle had made blood rush to his cheeks. Or the way his body melted into the chair. Or how weirdly good the--hickey?-- felt.

Even though he would much rather continue to enjoy his meal, Kyle didn’t want to kill his new employee. Begrudgingly he pulled away from the man's neck, licking a small bit that remained on his lips.

"Thank you for that." His tone was a bit rougher, restraint holding up less than he thought it would, as he moved away from the other casually. Unlocking the door before returning to his desk. "That should be all for the day." 

_ Mother fucking Blue Balls _ . Kenny's eyes opened, staring at Kyle with disbelief that that was all. The man had made a whole show of locking them in--getting him riled up, and then--just bit him and that’s it? Was it some sort of biting fetish?

Kenny schooled his expression and nodded, getting out of the chair hurriedly and nearly falling over from a sudden dizzy spell--luckily years working at a bar at given him the skill of retraining balance despite the odds. He only stumbled slightly before arranging himself, nodding politely to his boss before walking sedately out of the room.

The moment he stood up the thoughts came like a tidal wave.

_ What. The. Fuck. Was. That. _

Kyle was pleased with this, watching Kenny gather himself with interest. He gathered what documents he needed before stopping Kenny from leaving the room.

"Mr. McCormick, one more thing before you head home." 

Kenny paused turning around just in time to be caught in Kyle’s obnoxiously charming smile. The lawyer only a step behind him and apparently not caring one bit for his personal space. He took Kenny’s chin between his thumb and index finger. His face mere centimeters from the others. "You are to not speak a word of what just happened, forget it ever happened."

Compulsion, a trick used day to day. Something the ginger used in situations that benefited him and left little to no room for error. It was really miraculous how easy it was to have humans obeying his every word. It was ridiculously useful in the courtroom, all he had to do was say it and the human mind bent to believe it.

"...'kay." Kenny said weakly, he couldn’t help but be compliant with how close the man was to his face.

He supposed his bosses order made sense. It's a secret office sex thing. Okay... okay, but didn’t that mean this might be something he shouldn't be okay with? Kenny didn't really have it in him to disagree with the boss. At least not with that stupidly charming so damn close to his face.

Was he gonna get kissed? They were so close--Kenny's eyes darted down to Kyle's lips as the thought filled him with interest.

When was the last time he'd been kissed? His last few sexual encounters had been focused more on getting off--if his boss kissed him did that make this an office romance?

His thoughts joined his staccato heartbeat as the moment seemed to last a short eternity for him.

If his smile could get wider it would, pleased with Kenny's obedience. Then again he wasn't expecting anything less from compelling the human, unaware of how the others mind was racing.

Seeing as the other was going to forget anyway, Kyle impulsively left a chaste kiss on his lips. "Good. Be safe." He pulled away, his smile changing into a professional one as he guided Kenny out of his office and shut the door behind him.

_ 'Yep. _ ' Kenny turned around, numbly walking back towards his desk. ' _ Yeeeeep. _ ' The clock said he still had ten or so minutes before clock out, he sat down. All of that seemed to have happened in a short eternity and yet...  _ 'Yeeeeeeeeep.' _

Kenny reopened his web browser hurriedly.  _ 'I need help.' _

[Title: MY BOSS BIT ME??? IS THAT NORMAL?!

>Long time lurker, first time poster. idgaf about spelling mistakes.

>So I just started my first ever office job as a secretary. i've worked other shit in the past but i've never been in, ya know, a fucking office like this with all the higher class snobs and shit

>anyway, end of my first day, shit seems to be going great, I go to my bosses office to see if there's anything else and normal as can be the dude locks the fucking door, bites and licks my neck!!!!! Then like nothing fucking happened he just guides me out of the office!!!!! Tells me to forget about it?

>is that normal??? is any of this normal??? He acted like it was normal and i know you see shit like this in drama's but i always figured they were just in drama's??????? I REALLY don't wanna lose my job, someone with experience in an office please help!]

He thought about mentioning the kiss but... he bit his bottom lip gently, still feeling the ghost of it on his lips. It wasn't all that salacious. The bite was moreso. He glanced at the clock by the time he'd posted and clocked out, ready to check for any replies when he got home... another light dizzy spell crossed him and he decided to get food first. Who knew office work could take it out of you like this?


	2. r/thathappened

The internet never fails to impress and disappoint. Kenny didn’t receive a single response for his inquiry until the following morning and even then it was a scathing comment pointing out holes in his story.

Kenny couldn’t help but roll his eyes, not bothering to give the angry redditor a response.  _ “Too weird to be real” _ they had said.   
  
_ Yeah. No shit.  _ Kenny scoffed putting his phone away and looking out the bus window.  _ If it wasn’t fucking weird I wouldn’t be asking for advice, asshole. _

He was sincerely tempted to re-open the app and get into with the obnoxious commenter but he knew that would be a waste of his time and energy. It was pretty disappointing that no one had anything to offer him at all though, he’d seen shittier posts on reddit get all the advice in the world.

He rested his head against the glass, gaze flickering to the faint reflection of his turtleneck. He hadn’t really bothered to check the hickey last night or in the morning--but a cursory glance in the mirror let him know it was a nasty one that makeup wouldn’t be able to properly conceal for at least a few days time.

_ How many days in a row can I get away with wearing the same turtleneck? _ It was a valid concern, Kenny didn’t really have more than one. He also had some high collared dress shirts… he teased the edge of his collar, just to check how high those collars would have to be to properly conceal his brief office affair.

...would the turtle neck encourage or discourage his boss? Send the message of 'go ahead, explore your kink at will, there will be no visible evidence or perhaps it would send the message of 'you already marked me up once Mister, keep your hands to yourself!'.

Kenny wasn't entirely sure which message he wanted to send in any case.

A vibration coming from his phone interrupted whatever answer his reflection might have offered.

[Tacoluver34: duuuuuude, sounds like your boss is into you! You should totally hit that if he's hot]

Well. That wasn’t actually all that helpful. Still, Kenny found himself smiling at the thought. His boss  _ was _ hot and Kenny definitely wasn’t opposed to the occasional casual encounter.

He didn’t reply to that comment either though, mostly because he’d reached his stop and thoughts of reddit and turtlenecks paling in comparison to the overwhelming presence of his office building.

_ I really need to get used to this place.. _ Despite the trepidation he felt, Kenny entered with the practiced confidence of a liar.

Today, like yesterday, would be a successful work day.

He'd eaten a hearty breakfast and packed a lunch though, not wanting a repeat of yesterday's dizzy spells. 

Mr. Broflovski wasn’t in the office but he knew from the mans schedule that he would be at the courthouse until the early afternoon. There was a significantly longer list of tasks waiting for him on his desk though and Kenny got to work, not noticing his phones pitiably low charge until the poor thing died on him.

_ Wonder if I’m like a cellphone _ . Kenny contemplated as he left the office to run one of the many errands listed.  _ I die when I’m out of charge and I revive when god plugs me back in. _

It was as good a guess as any to explain his immortality --not that Kenny still put any real effort into solving that particular mystery. There was so long a guy can go without answers before learned helplessness sets in.

“Where were you?”

Kenny was taken aback by the sudden interrogation, recognizing the interrogator as one of the mailroom employees holding a few envelopes.

He held up the dry cleaning by way of explanation. “I had to run an errand for Mr. Broflovski.”

The brunette huffed, passing him the envelopes with a sour expression. “Well these are marked urgent and neither you or Mr. Broflovski were in.”

If Kenny had more energy for agitation he might have been inclined to argue but as it was, he accepted the letters with his best professional smile. “Sorry to have inconvenienced you, I’ll get right to it.”

To his credit, the brunette did look a bit abashed for his snappy attitude. “Sorry, man.” He sighed. “My ass gets reemed if urgent letters aren’t delivered in person asap.”

Kenny had to actually bite his tongue to stop from pouncing on that low hanging fruit. Instead he juggled the items in his arms to one side and held out a hand. “I’m Kenny by the way, I just started this week. I look forward to working with you.”

“Clyde.” He said, his handshake a flimsy and airy one. Kenny got the impression this guy didn’t think too hard about most things. “Though I don’t know about working together.”

A frown marred Kenny’s normally impeccable expression. “Why’s that?”

“Oh.” Clyde looked flustered, shifting uncomfortably. “I mean… Mr. Broflovski is kind of infamously picky about his secretaries so there’s kinda a heavy turnover rate.”

If Kenny’s heart could touch his toes, it would have already been making polite introductions with his pinky toe.

“Well, here’s to hoping I’m to his tastes.” Kenny said weakly. He couldn’t even really pretend to be okay with that information. For him this was an opportunity for the stability he craved the entirety of his life--the idea that some pedantic bigwig could take it away at a moments notice left him winded.

Clyde patted his shoulder in what was supposed to be a comforting fashion, but it wound up feeling patronizing. Kenny excused himself and returned to his desk, noting that Mr. Broflovski’s office was still locked and likely empty. It was at least another hour before the lawyer was expected to return.

He wanted nothing more than to reopen reddit and find solace in the millions of people who fucked up at work and didn’t get fired. He was too anxious to risk perusing the internet today though, creating busy work for himself to at the very least appear busy.

Miscellaneous thoughts joined him on his quest give his best.  _ Am I more or less likely to be fired if he’s into me? _ And  _ Would I fuck him to keep my job? _ Being prominent ruminations that haunted him.

By the time his boss had returned to the office, Kenny had at least three nuclear plans in order to ensure his job security and every bit of the anxiety that coming up with such machinations would create.

This was the precise reason that when the exhausted looking lawyer returned, Kenny’s attempt at a greeting came out in a high pitched. “Welcome, help you?”

If interrogated Kenny could probably piece together his words has a combo of ‘welcome back’ and ‘can I help you?’ but in the heat of the moment he wouldn’t have been able to manage even that.

His cheeks burned with embarrassment but he held his smile, hoping to god the slip up went unnoticed.

Today had sucked, for lack of a more succinct description. And Kyle was pretty sure that the district attorney was attempting to give him a heart attack. He only had a few more hours to put in behind the desk and he could retire to an evening of watching shitty movies to numb his brain.

The sound of Kenny’s greeting had quite literally jerked him out of his monotonous revere and he opened his mouth to comment on it but--

It was the look of blank panic on his secretaries face as the poor man attempted to keep his composure at all costs.

Kyle couldn’t help it. It was such a genuine reaction and an entirely different pace from the slimey D.A. and his underhanded bullshit. It was that stupid moment when a waiter tells you to enjoy your meal and you reply with ‘you too’.

And the fact that his secretary was so determined to pretend it hadn’t happened--

He laughed, a small and happy sound that he tried desperately to politely hide behind his hand.

“Sorry.” He chuckled. “No, I won’t be needing anything, Mr. McCormick.”

Tension appeared to leave the blond’s shoulders and the gesture drew his attention to high neckline of his turtleneck --an immediate reminder of the savory taste of his blood--.

It couldn’t hurt to just have one more taste…

“Okay.” Kenny replied. “Just let me know if you do wind up needing anything, sir.”

Kyle felt an uncharacteristic spike of guilt at where his thoughts had wandered, nodding curtly and heading into his office.

The new secretary was clearly doing his best and anxious enough as it was, it would just be cruel to add anemia to those conditions.

He could hear his father’s voice chastising him even as he thought this. Something about being too much of a stick in the mud or about treating humans as they should be treated.

A food source and nothing more.

Kyle had his own complicated thoughts on that matter--while to some extent he couldn’t deny his father had a point--his closest friend from childhood was in fact a human.

He wouldn’t mind draining that slimy D.A. dry though. Kyle grimaced, pulling out some documents as he attempted to undo the damage the fat bastard had created for him.

A knock disrupted him though.

Kenny hesitated at the door. In the nerves of the moment he’d entirely forgotten to give his boss the dry cleaned suits.

He contemplated holding onto them for a but the memory of how anxious Clyde had been to ensure the mail reached its destination as soon as possible made him think twice--and remember the stack of envelopes he still had to hand off to his boss as well.

“Come in.”

Kenny entered carrying everything. “I brought your dry cleaning and some mail, sir.”

Kyle gestured vaguely for Kenny to hang the suits on the waiting rack and leave the mail on his desk, barely looking up from his work.

He looked so frustrated and stressed… Kenny tried his luck at conversation as he placed down the envelopes. “Rough day?”

“Mind your business.” Kyle snapped, fixing Kenny with narrowed eyes.

Kenny held up his hands in defense, taking a step back from the reaction.

His first instinct was to make light of the situation. And despite every professional bone of his body that screamed for him deescalate the situation Kenny’s quick draw wit was too fast to stop.

“ _ Oh _ it was  _ that _ rough, you know it hurts less if you use lubricant before jamming the rod in? Just some friendly advice.”

The silence that followed his words was thick and coated with horror.

Neither of them could quite believe what had been said, Kenny actually felt a bit faint at the mere thought of it. So much for holding onto his job by any means necessary--here he was sassing his infamously picky boss on his second day--he might as well have sent in his two weeks notice.

Teachers had warned him that his smart mouth would get him into trouble, he hated knowing that they were right.

Kyle coughed awkwardly, once the shock of the words had left he was ready to reprimand his employee properly--

But all that came out when he tried to speak was a giggle. An infectious sound that caught Kenny too, a nervous little laugh escaping the blond as well. The insanity of it settled in and the laughter grew, Kyle wasn’t able to hold it in and neither was Kenny.

“You just…” Kyle said between gasping laughs, disbelief in this tone.

“I am so sorry.” Kenny could have sounded more apologetic if he wasn’t giggling madly between words.

Blame it on the stress or the shock--blame it on the release in tension--but it was impossible not to laugh.

It was only when an actual mirthful tear stung the corner of Kyle’s eye that he realized how long it had been since he’d had such a genuine and simple laugh. It brought him back to stupid moments watching Terrance and Phillip with his brother--silly times when he and Stan set cow shit on fire. Stupid shit and stupid happiness.

He shook his head, still unable to help his laughs as he finally chastised the employee. “You get away with that  _ once _ , McCormick.”

Kenny nodded, face contorted with the effort of containing his chuckles. The stupid expression inspired another peel of giggles from the pair--it was getting embarrassing so Kyle pointed at the door to send away the nuisance.

With a mock salute, the secretary retreated the room and closed the door behind him. His shoulders were still shaking as he left.

“That little shit…” Kyle snickered, shaking his head.

Never in his life had such a blatant insult and disrespect actually made him strangely  _ happy _ . It was bizarre.

“Kenny McCormick, huh…” He scoffed, turning back to his paperwork with a grin.

It would definitely be worth seeing what his new secretary had to offer.

[StarSeeker52: nah, totally normal if your boss is a vamp.]

[TeamMom: No!!!Go to HR! This shit is not okay!!!]

[comedian-on-stilts: I'm with StarSeeker52, it's suspicious that he'd just bite you. Where did he bite you? And by any chance, is your boss of the canine persuasion?]

[StarSeeker52: though if he is one he’s fucking stupid, he didn’t wipe your memory, fucking noob] 

[TheAntiChrist99: From the sounds of it if he’s that dumb your boss might be a gremlin or an imp. Does he usually smell like death?]

[Tacoluver34: either way, like—if he’s hot dude I say go for it. If the smell is bad there is ALWAYS ways around it :) ]

[comedian-on-stilts: @Tacoluver34 speaking from experience there buddy?]

[Tacoluver34: @comedian-on-stilts shush, not my fault hunting for a few days leads to death lingering - 3 -] 

[TheAntiChrist99: @Tacoluver34 it is soooo your fault, you can stand to bathe in between your kills]

[Tacoluver34: somethings don't just leave after just a shower or two man]

[TeamMom: Guy we're seriously getting nowhere, she could be in serious trouble--]

[comedian-on-stilts: @TeamMom we're giving solid advice here, besides if this is with her boss chances are hr  _ could _ be a dead end]

[TheAntiChrist99: whatever, wake me up when something interesting happens]

\----TheAntiChrist99 is offline----

[TeamMom: @Princess, I mean it. If he every touches you without permission, that’s not okay. You need to report him to HR and if that doesn’t work, contact the authorities. There could be more victims and he needs to face consequences for his actions.]

[Tacoluver34: @TeamMom LOL ok #metoo god ur such a goodytooshoes]

\----TeamMom is offline----

[Tacoluver34: drama queen]

[StarSeeker52: #supernaturallivesmatter]

[caff3in3ismyantidrug: you guys are a bunch of fucking trolls! And if her boss is a vampire or monster she should run away!!!!!]

[comedian-on-stilts: I mean, if he bit her once already and she’s not dead, pretty safe bet she’s not in any real danger]

[StarSeeker52: he probably has rabies. Have u had your shots?]

[StarSeeker52: he could just be a fucking idiot tho]

[StarSeeker52: an incredibly stupid vampire. Honestly I’d be less concerned that he bit you and way more concerned that your boss is clearly an idiot]

[TacoLuver34: this is lupin erasure]

[comedian-on-stilts: does that mean you think lupins are more likely to be dumb?]

[caff3in3ismyantidrug: @Princess get away while you can!!!!!!!]

The banter continued for some time after that as well.

The onslaught of comments waiting for him when Kenny got home and logged on was a bit overwhelming. Not that it did much to dash the silly grin still splashed across his expression from the days events. Nothing else of note had really occurred for the rest of the workday, although his boss had refused to look at him when he’d said goodbye for the day.

He was not at all expecting the onslaught of comments that waited for him on reddit. His post had blown up, or at the very least a group of commenters had turned it into their own personal chatroom.

The comments ranged from useless to confusing. But... TeamMom seemed to be the only one who was actually alarmed by the situation, so maybe it was normal? He’d have to pay more attention to shitty office dramas.

The stupid vampire comments did make him laugh though. It was hard to imagine the snappish man who’d completely lost his composure in a giggle fit as Count Dracula.

He wasn't up to replying to them all after a long day at work though so he just left an edit at the end of his post.

[EDIT: Thx for the comments, I'll hit up hr in the morning? (also, what's hr?) and yeah he's hot. Ngl, the bite didn't feel BAD just kinda weird... also without warning so yea, should i be worried about consent shit? idk maybe i should try to bang him??? he’s kinda cute]

He'd have to make time to reply to each of them. They seemed nice and they were certainly less obnoxious than his first commenter. 

A quick google search answered his HR questions. He just wasn't sure how to ask where it was in His company. Normally he could ask his boss but it was about his boss... he decided to hold off on further HR investigations until after he'd determined whether or not he liked the attention.

He was kind of digging TacoLuver34's advice, if he was totally honest. The idea of jumping his bones and seeing if his face lit up again with that infectious laugh… Kenny bit his lip.

[edit2: srs question tho, how bad an idea would it be to bang my boss?]

Wednesday morning brought with it the usual trauma of hump day. Mostly Kenny felt that it was a damn shame that there was a day called hump day by the majority of salary workers he was neither humping or getting humped.

Truly, he was the real victim here.

It was with some satisfaction that approaching his new place of work didn’t bring the same dread Monday and Tuesday had--but he did feel pretty self conscious that he was wearing the same turtleneck. Hopefully no one in the office paid any real attention to his clothes

Speaking of the cause of his new fashion statement, Kenny frowned at the source of the popped blood vessels in his neck. Or at least, stared at the door.

He wasn’t entirely sure he knew how to approach his boss after yesterday. Clearly there was a sense of humor--and a bad temper--and a reputation for dismissing Kenny’s predecessors.

And the weird biting thing.

Screwing up his guts, Kenny knocked politely at Kyle's door.

Kyle was working away in his office by the time he heard the knock, not exactly expecting it but nonetheless glanced up from his work. "Come in."

It would be a lie that after yesterday he hadn't thought about the other or how he tasted, craving the blonde the more the thought crossed his mind. He’d enjoyed the laugh but his thoughts had drifted several times to the taste.

After all, if his father was to be believed, humans were good for very little else. And besides--he never really punished yesterday's impudence.

Kenny entered, holding a coffee. It hadn't been on his list to bring one in but it couldn't hurt to smooze over the boss-man. "I just wanted to let you know I arrived." He placed the coffee on Kyle's desk, smiling nervously. "Is there anything you'd like me to do first?"

His thoughts darted to the comments again. Bang him, report him, or accuse him of being a vampire... were those really the only options? Kenny had more questions to put on his post when he had time.

The coffee smelled good. Or at least as good as coffee could smell. Kyle primarily drank it for the appearance of normalcy. His eyes moved up from the cup to the nervous blond himself.

It would be easy.

He could take the drink he wanted from the other. The thought of having him pinned to his desk to make sure to get the amount he craved --gasping for breath as Kyle took his fill of his warm blood--.

It was definitely more enticing than coffee.

"Yes actually, mind shutting the door?"

_...maybe I should have gone to HR... _ Kenny's heart sped up as he did so obediently. Turning back to his boss with a bit of red coloring his freckled cheeks. "What is it, sir?"

"Take a seat it won't take long." Kyle got up from his chair, ignoring the coffee for now as he eyes stayed on Kenny.

_ I shouldn't like the way he's looking at me. _ It wasn't hard to obey, it was harder to convince himself he shouldn't and he definitely failed at the latter part.

He looked to Kyle expectantly from his seated position, hoping his anticipation didn't show on his face. More biting? Or would he do something different? Did the turtleneck encourage him? Were turtlenecks the key to sexy-times?

"Sir?" He asked softly, voice portraying his nerves.

With the other seated he walked over to him, Kyle caging Kenny between an arm as his free one pulled down the turtleneck. "The less you struggle the faster it'll be over." His voice was low and husky as he said this close to the other's ear.

_ Why would I struggle? _ was the first thought followed quickly by.  _ Why would I want it to be over? _

Without allowing the other to question further he bit into where the base of Kenny's neck met his shoulder.

He whimpered softly, the same instant moment of pain from yesterday--so bright and intense it lit every nerve on fire--followed by his body relaxing. It left everything feeling muted--but at the same time  _ so good _ .

He tried to find words but they failed him, gasping whimpers sounding almost like moans even to his own ears--he found himself clinging to the front of Kyle's delicately pressed suit, probably causing wrinkles and making work for himself.

_ It’s just a bite- _ \- A tremor went through him and he moved his head to the side to allow Kyle more access.

The movement caught Kyle by surprise.

_ Yet again _ the other moved to give him more, completely unlike the usual struggle or resigned acceptance.

While it struck him as odd, Kyle wasn't going to stop to ask why. Moving closer to Kenny to get better access Kyle allowed a pleased groan to leave him as he got a better taste of the other.

Thoughts finally re-entered Kenny’s breathless pause.

_ Yep. That was a groan. So this is definitely a sex thing, right? _ He closed his eyes, weirdest hickey he’d ever gotten… but he was always down to try new things.

It was strange how intently Kyle sucked at the spot though….

A trill of panic ran down his spine.

StarSeeker's comments blared in his thoughts and suddenly he was much less sure that the suggestion had been a joke.

He shifted in Kyle's grip, trying to focus on that initial stinging sensation--had he broke skin? Kenny hadn't looked all that close at the first hickey. Had that one broke skin? He whimpered softly, grip tightening on Kyle's shirt as fear joined his growing arousal. 

_ Should I struggle? _

Kyle tightened his grip on the other, making sure to keep the human in place. As if he'd allow this meal to leave him.

Pulling away from that spot Kyle began to search for a better one, nipping and sucking along Kenny’s neck before settling on a spot and sinking his fangs into the tender skin.

_ There-- _

Just for a moment but that definitely felt like skin broke--

_ Why doesn’t it hurt more? _ His feeble struggles didn’t do anything against Kyle’s grip.

...and the pain that was there wasn’t entirely unpleasant...

His series of sexual misadventures had Kenny pretty well informed that he liked a bit of pain--the balance of pain and pleasure as Kyle’s warm tongue caressed his neck--  _ shit _ .

His breath hitched with pleasure, Kyle's firm hold heightening his fear-- anticipation--it all mixed together until all he could feel was Kyle. Heavy and pressed against him.

"..fuck..." he breathed out, barely a word and sounding shaky-- _ I should be more scared, I should be struggling, I shouldn't be pulling him closer, I shouldn't be enjoying this _ \--he wiggled just a bit. It was a laughable mockery of a real struggle, only serving to grind Kyle's bite painfully-- _ but it feels good _ \-- "Sir..." his voice was light and thick with want, not at all the objection he'd meant it to be.

Reluctantly pulling away Kyle began to calm himself, the arousal he could taste in the others blood not helping in the slightest as he pulled himself away from the spot.

Kenny breathed out heavily, looking at Kyle with confusion and interest. Was he allowed to comment? Should he stay quiet? He felt light headed.

"Was that okay, sir?" it came out without his full consent. Just scratching that itch inside of him that wanted his bosses approval-- _ or do I want Kyle's approval? Fuck-- _ .

A breathy chuckle left Kyle as he heard the question. "Yes, that was just fine. Just be careful today, I didn't mean to take that much from you." He smiled nervously before gently holding the other face. "Once you leave this room, forget this happen, alright?"

_ This dude is seriously obsessed with secrecy. _

"Got it." He said, looking at Kyle's lips curiously. Did they look a little redder than usual? Or was there something red on them? He bit his lip nervously, wondering if Kyle would go in for another kiss. He was half tempted to close the gap himself--but he really didn't know how this office romance thing worked, was he supposed to be super submissive or some shit? He wasn't really complaining but he also liked to take some initiative…

And god was he horny.

"Do you need anything else, sir?"

"No, just handle what's assigned to you." Kyle pulled himself away, resisting the urge to keep the man longer. With other employees around he didn't wish to get caught or have them ask questions. For now he'd enjoy the fact he got two meals out of his new secretary thus far

_...fucking tease. _ Kenny nodded, making an effort not to show his thoughts externally.  _ Goddamn cock tease. Asshole. Blue-baller. Biter. Is one kiss too much to ask for? Well, I guess it would be two kisses-- _ Kenny fixed his collar, heading out of the room with a similar light headed feeling to yesterday--  _ wait what the hell did he mean 'took' more than intended… _

He froze, something wet and red on his finger tip.

_ Fuckfuckfuck StarSeeker WAS joking, right?! _

He hurried back to his desk without looking back, popping up the browser.

[Edit3: MAYDAY MAYDAY YOU GUYS WERE KIDDING ABOUT THE VAMPIRE THING, RIGHT?! RIGHT?!!! THIS IS A SEX THING RIGHT??? HE BIT ME AGAIN THIS MORNING!!!!! AND I THINK HE BROKE SKIN!!! IM TOO FREAKED OUT TO CHECK SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WTF IS HAPPENING]

The responses were surprisingly quick all things considered--or maybe Kenny’s concept of time had staggered a bit with the panic currently racing through his veins.

[StarSeaker52: nope, wasn't joking. What hole have you been living under?]

[TacoLuver34: idk just sounds like kinky sex to me. have u tried sitting on his lap? Dudes dig that]

[Princess: @starseaker52 ???? EXPLAIN PLZ]

[StarSeaker52: vampires are real, as are werewolves and demons, haven't met an angel yet so I can't say for sure on that one.]

[TeamMom: @Princess you need to report him]

...well, it shouldn't surprise him even if vampires were real. He himself  _ was _ immortal after all but-- Really?  _ REALLY? _ He couldn't help but wonder if StarSeaker was pulling his chain. He could believe a lot of stupid crap--but literal bloodsuckers?

The idea that his boss was a weirdo with a neck fetish was way more likely.

[Princess: @TeamMom how do you report him???? Also what do I say???? ALSO I'm not sure I want to?????]

[comedian-on-stilts: lmao don't be a pussy]

[TacoLuver34: I mean it dude! Just like, go into his office and crawl in his lap! Instant win! Or I guess you could crawl under his desk and do something else... ;D]

[TheAntichrist99: You might get a raise, no harm in trying]

[StarSeeker52: if you don't want to report him then don't, simple as that]

[TeamMom: why don't you want to report him???]

[Princess: @TeamMom idk??? I mean it kinda felt good? And j didn't really tell him to stop or anything >\\\\\\\< I JUSZT DONT WANT HIM TO EAT ME]

[caff3in3ismyantidrug: it sounds like he wants something from you!!!! Don't trust him!!]

[TacoLuver34: ofc he wants something from u, he wants to have The Sex! If it felt good, why are you hesitating?? Climb him like a tree!]

[Princess: @tacoluver34 I guess????? OK BUT WAT IF HE IS A VAMPIRE DOES THAT MEAN HES GOING TO VORE ME???? am i ok with that??? idk if im ok w/ that airejiugh]

[StarSeaker52: better hope he doesn't bleed you dry then]

[TheAntiChrist99: worse comes to worse, you die a pleasurable death.]

No way these guys were serious.

Kenny closed the browed in an attempt to catch his breath.

It was a sex thing. Definitely a sex thing. If vampires were real he would have gotten killed by one ages ago.

...right?


	3. Chapter 3

**r/holdmybeer**

“Pass the popcorn.” 

Karen was sprawled out on the couch, practically hanging upside down from it as she attempted to obtain the desired snack. Kevin could be heard in the kitchen calling out something along the lines of “Don’t spoil your dinner!” whilst Kenny sat against the arm of the couch. Passing over the popcorn Kenny couldn’t help but feel at ease with the moment given to him. 

The first time all three of them were able to be home without passing out the moment they entered the apartment and they were able to enjoy having dinner and a movie together. With Karen starting college and Kevin working at the car shop it was expected he wouldn’t see them much given his new job, however that didn’t make it suck any less. Sometimes he would catch himself thinking back on when they were younger, able to just play and end the sunlight without as much weighing on them.  
  
However those thoughts were always dashed away as the memories of just how Kevin barely made it through high school, working his ass off to get the younger McCormicks at least one decent meal for the day and paying off what he could of their parent’s overdue rent. Or how Karen faced the brunt of peers poking and pointing out every little thing while he wasn’t able to stand up for her.  
  
At least now life seemed to be calming down in some ways, just as it was picking up in it’s excitement in other areas.

Kenny glanced guiltily at his phone only to have it batted from his grip by one of Karen's feet. "Ken come on! No phones during family time ya butt!" She shot said male a mix of a pout and an annoyed glare as she said this.

Putting his hands up in surrender Kenny obliged, just in time for Kevin to enter the room. "You two better not be fightin, when was it we all could get together?" 

"We're not, bro." Kenny smiled at the two, grateful to be able to see both of them this evening. "Just got a reminder, no biggy. " He shrugged while putting his phone away, finding it hard to even find a slight want to disagree with the rule. It _was_ family time after all.

Kevin relaxed as the conflict grew nonexistent, the smile both his younger siblings has being ones he missed dearly. “Good, the burritos are ready, all the fixings are on the counter.” 

“Fuck yeah!” Karen all but booked it from her position on the couch, not like either of her brothers were going to stop her from getting her fill. “Save some for me, ya dork!” Kenny chuckled out as he made way to the small kitchen. 

Nights like these, a family dinner, banter being tossed about, just being able to join in on it was one all of them could appreciate. Stomachs filled with beans and popcorn and a movie playing—albeit a cheap comedy special—but they couldn’t find a reason to complain. It was perfect in their eyes. Able to talk about anything and nothing concerning how their week has been and what plans they might have for the upcoming days. 

It wasn’t until Karen was passed out of the couch and Kevin was close behind that Kenny allowed himself a glance at his messages. A slight snicker leaving him as he read through the comments left on his post. Various comments of how bs it sounded, how he should avoid the “vampire” and so on.

These guys never go outside do they? 

Tacoluver’s comments in particular caught his attention, hilariously being both of the belief that his boss was a vampire but also that demonic predispositions for vore shouldn’t stop them from smashing.

Kenny snorted at one suggestion to ‘suck something of his bosses in retaliation’. It was honestly tempting--when was the last time he’d had some good old fashioned indecent fun?

Besides--his boss started it.

\---

Damien Thorn was a total bitch.

Not that Kenny would verbalize that, even in jest, he was happy being human-shaped for the time being thank-you-very-much.

Damien Thorn was also probably one of his closest friends.

Neither of these facts made it particularly pleasant to wake up Sunday morning to the bastard sitting on him. Apparently he’d fallen asleep on the couch and apparently Damien’s bitchy response to that was to just sit on him.

“You mind?” Kenny grumbled grouchily, pulling a throw pillow over his head.

The devil in question didn’t pay any mind whatsoever to his question, instead continuing his apparently animated conversation with a giggling Karen.

“--big, dumb, but weirdly loveable.” There was a movement above Kenny that suggested a shrug. “Kinda like Kevin but instead of being a romantic, he’s an asshole.”

Karen giggled again. “You should probably get off Kenny before you suffocate him.”

Kenny didn’t have to see it to _know_ that Damien was rolling his eyes. “I’ll get off of him when he becomes relevant to the conversation.”

“We get it, you have a bear kink. Now get off and fuck my brother or something.” Kenny bitched from his position, considering bucking forward to send the petite devil flying off.

As if sensing his intentions, Damien’s weight was finally removed from his torso and Kenny attempted not to look too much like he was catching his breath. “Why would I fuck Kevin?”

Damien sounded appalled, actually offended, and Kenny rolled his eyes as he sat up. “I dunno, man. I just woke up. I don’t care what you do with your dick.”

Karen distracted what could have been a rather deconstructive argument by clinging onto Damien’s arm and guiding him towards the kitchen. “C’mon, our cookies are gonna burn.”

Kevin himself was seen bustling out of the apartment for his early afternoon shift at the garage and Kenny pulled out his phone to see that it was indeed early afternoon.

How was it even after the siblings rented out this apartment together with no screaming parents, it was still constantly so loud? Kenny grumbled and made his way to the shower. He wasn’t actually grumpy, or upset at Damien. Truthfully Damien had become something of a fourth McCormick sibling over the last couple years and his infrequent visits were a welcome invasion.

Still. Damien was such a bitch.

When he’d gotten out the shower he slunk into the kitchen with his phone and sat the counter while Karen and Damien gossiped about who Kenny assumed was the devil’s most recent lay--but who even knew with Damien.

Still feeling pretty groggy, he decided to mess around on his phone instead of engaging.

[TacoLuver34: @princess im just saying u should suck his dicc]

[Princess: lmfao this is wat i wake up to r u just frustrated bc no ones sucking ur dicc?]

[TacoLuver34: thats slander! i’ll sue!]

[comedian-on-stilts: It’s called libal, dumbass.]

[TacoLuver34: i get plenty!!!! i get hot blowjobs all the time!]

[Princess: uh-huh, that sounds real]

[TacoLuver34: im married!]

[starseeker: you do know being married doesnt actually mean you have sex, right?]

[TacoLuver34: u guys r all assholes. my husband is hot]

[Princess: he sounds real]

[comedian-on-stilts: so real]

[starseeker: the realist]

[TacoLuver34: omg U GUYS HAVE MET HIM!!]

[starseeker: coulda been a paid actor, I don’t know how you spend your money, man.]

Kenny’s snickers at TacoLuver’s plight apparently attracted the attention of the other two in the kitchen and he gave a sheepish grin. “Giving a friend shit for his ‘totally real’ hubby.”

Karen prodded him with a whisk rolling her eyes. “You need to be nicer to people, Ken. I’m sure his husband is wonderful.”

“Kare-bear, you’re the saint we should all strive to be.” Kenny snickered, resting his palm on the counter and abandoning his phone. TacoLuver was serious cuck material but if he could manage a husband, his advice was probably better than Kenny thought.

Damien watched Kenny with that horribly thoughtful look before he said something bitchy. “You’re just giving him shit because he’s getting some and you aren’t.”

How the hell did Damien manage to steal _his own comeback_ in just a dry and uninspired way and still make it cut?

Kenny pouted, stealing a completed cookie from one of the plates in retaliation. “What about you? I don’t see you getting some.”

“Actually--” Karen started but Damien cut in with a devilish grin.

“Projecting much?” He tsked, stealing the plate out of Kenny’s grubby reach.

And that was it, with one sassy statement Kenny _knew_ that Damien’s sex life was better than his own at the moment. Which was probably one of the most insulting things to ever happen to him.

Damien “edgelord of the damned” Thorn was getting good enough action that he didn’t even bother to brag and Kenny was busy getting hot and bothered over some teenage grade necking.

Okay, some _really_ good necking, but still. It was an insult to his pride as a slut.

Karen geared the conversation back towards cookies and Kenny decided to drop the losing battle, making his infamous ‘cockies’ instead.

\----

Okay. But he wasn’t imagining _that look_.

Kenny felt rather paralyzed by it. He’d walked into the building, caught sight of his boss just as the elevator was closing, and the moment Mr. Broflovski’s eyes met his own--

There was something so distinctly _hungry_ about it. The way his emerald eyes locked onto him until the elevator divided them. Something practically predatory--Kenny was half convinced if he’d run like a scared rabbit, Kyle would have given chase.

The thought was appealing in a fantasy way. Running away from Kyle until the man caught him in an empty meeting room, pinning him to the door and--

Yeah. He _really_ needed to get laid.

And if that look was anything to judge by, the interest was definitely mutual.

It was a few hours of menial tasks and routines that he was still new to but by the end of it Kenny felt confident he'd succeeded in completing the majority of his work for the day, even managing to cram lunch down his throat as he sped through paperwork.

It was time for Mr. Broflovski's 2pm coffee.

Kenny straightened his collar nervously. Would it work? Was he reading the signs wrong? Nah, everyone in the chat seemed to think it was a sex thing. Well--TacoLuver was convinced at least and Kenny was inclined to believe him.

He knocked at the door, waiting patiently for the answer.

Kyle was just about to go on a lunch break when he heard the knocking on his door. Welp, might as well see who it was before risking ignoring something important. Opening the door he shot Kenny a smile, trying to keep professional but approachable to his employees. "Something I can help you with?"

Regardless of that fact he had to admit, seeing the other wasn't something he minded. The memory of how the man's blood tasted fresh and yet not as clear as he would prefer.

Damn, that smile looked good. "I, uh, brought your 2pm coffee!" Ah, this wasn't the he had imagined already--the last few times Mr. Broflovski had invited him in--now that he was face to face and in clear view of the entire office he wasn't really sure how to proceed with Plan: Surefire Sexy-Time. "The... list said you wanted it around this time?"

Did he? It probably slipped Kyle's mind as he went through his work. You'd think eventually he would know his own caffeine cycle.

"Thanks, just set it on my desk." The ginger almost chuckled at the stutter, finding it cute. It reminded him of when he was younger, unsure of his actions but trying to make it work out nonetheless.

Kenny saluted with his free hand, entering and putting the cup on the mostly barren desk, biting his lip as he considered his options--he'd initially intended to take TacoLuver's advice literally, just climb onto top of his bosses lap and ride the goddamn cock tease--but Kyle wasn't seated... and if he took Kyle's seat it was liable to just wind up being another biting session. Definitely delightful but Kenny was a man on a mission, damnit!

Getting blue balled was definitely not part of it!

Determination sparking his actions he gently pushed Kyle's items to one side of the desk, placing the cup over it and leaving a large portion completely empty, before sitting on the desk legs crossed and facing Kyle with an impish grin.

Raising a brow at the sight he closed the door, expecting the other to have simply placed it on his desk and leave. But to sit on his desk?

No matter, might as well see what the man wanted.

Forgetting his plans to leave for lunch he took up residence in his chair Kyle sipping his coffee before addressing the other. "Something else you need help with Kenny?" Green eyes locked with blue over the lip of the cup, unaware of what could be playing in the secretary's mind.

Damnit, this would be so much easier if he wasn't so goddamn composed--doubt assailed Kenny's mind briefly, was he totally wrong about this? Was he going to lose his job because he followed some bad advice on reddit?

If he was totally off though, wouldn't the guy have kicked him out? Surely if Kyle didn't want him around he wouldn't have allowed him on the desk.

Heart jack-hammering inside of his ribcage, Kenny pressed on, doing everything in his power to keep how nervous he actually was off of his face. Shamefully, he could feel the heat radiating off of it regardless of his wishes.

"I thought there was one more thing I could help you with, sir." He practically purred, leaning down and pressing a finger on Kyle's chest, trailing down. "If you'd let me." He winked.

Setting aside his drink Kyle gave the other his full attention, a slightly amused smile on his face as he heard the other go on.

Worse comes to worse he could make someone forget if this leads to issues.

"You have my attention."

'How the hell is this guy so constantly composed? ...and why do I find that hot? Shit, I'm fucked... hopefully literally.'

Kenny's grin widened but his pulse sped, coming down from his perch on the desk and practically crawling into Kyle's lap. He regretted his turtleneck--the guy had an obvious neck fetish and it would be hard to expose the throat in a sexy way with a goddamn turtleneck--still, he did his best, cocking his head to one side with a sly grin and trailing his hands down to Kyle's dress pants, toying with the top bottom.

"Should I continue, sir?"

Resting his hands on the others hips Kyle lightly dragged his nails along the mans clothed back. "I haven't stopped you have I?" A light smirk crossed the man's face as he leaned over, nipping Kenny's bottom lip.

Kenny shivered, unsure whether it was the smirk, the voice, or the nails that set it off. Probably all of the above. Kenny considered his next move carefully but eventually determined it was probably for the best that he started small--also Kyle hadn't locked the door, so being out of sight was in his best interest. With a smile Kenny slid down Kyle's lap and towards the ground, undoing Kyle's button and zipper as he did so. He licked his lips as he pulled out Kyle's cock, feeling his twitch with interest at the size.

Fuck, this was gonna be good.

He leaned in, kissing the tip gently and rubbing his length softly with his hand, looking up to Kyle's face for approval.

A pleased sigh left Kyle as he allowed this to go on, holding back as to avoid making any sounds to alert the other workers. He reached down, resting in Kenny's hair. His eyes a mix of desire and lust as he watched the blonde.

Well that was all the encouragement Kenny needed. He swirled his tongue around the tip, getting a good taste of what was to come before hallowing out his cheeks and bobbing his head slowly--teasingly--keeping an eye on Kyle for his reactions as his hand slipped to the base, squeezing it lightly.

A light groan escaped Kyle before he had a chance to hold it back, his grip on Kenny's hair tightening as his dick twitched. He wanted more. Testing the waters Kyle pushed the others head further down, trying to bury his member further into the man's mouth.

Kenny didn't resist, half expecting it in fact and easily taking Kyle's girth into the back of his throat before bobbing back out. Shit--he loved the feel his hair getting pulled--Kenny mewled softly, entirely muffled by the cock and then--with the slightest smirk--resumed his earlier shallow slow pace.

Deciding to take control of the situation Kyle began a steady pace, pulling and tugging on Kenny's hair to have his dick hit the back of the blondes throat. Biting the inside of his lip to contain any moan that dare to leave him.

Kenny let out a series of satisfied but muffled moans reverberating around Kyle's cock as the man face-fucked him, satisfaction that he'd managed to get him so riled up pooling in his stomach and joining the ever increasing arousal as he let himself before tugged and pulled any direction, swirling his tongue when he could manage it. The feel of Kyle's girth stretching his throat and clogging in his air-way--might have been dangerous if Kenny didn't have experience in the area--might have felt bad if Kenny didn't enjoy the strain. He closed his lust clouded eyes as he surrendered all control.

A pleased hum left Kyle as he continued, enjoying the feel of Kenny's mouth around him as this continued. Allowing himself to go at a rough pace against the eager man. "Fucking hell..." he muttered under his breath.

The rougher pace only made it harder to restrain his own arousal. Kenny reached down to palm his own growing erection, matching his movements to Kyle's and moaning wantonly around Kyle's cock. Tears of pain pricked the corners of his eyes but he didn't mind it at all--looking up again at Kyle and feeling his already restrained breath go short at the sight. Fuck--he knew TacoLuver had the best idea--he couldn't help but want More.

With seeing the desire and lust in the blondes eyes, the feel of the other moaning around his dick as he all but rammed into the man's mouth, how could Kyle not fall apart?

On top of having probably the best blood he has ever tasted this man had a way of working his tongue that made the vampire weak. Yet unlike other instances, he was loving every bit of this. The sounds of Kenny's muffled moans and feel of his tongue swirling around his cock being enough for the other to dismiss any lingering thoughts concerning his work as he began to get lost in the wanton want building inside of him.

Kenny impatiently snaked his hands on his pants, rubbing his erection urgently in time with Kyle's movements and eyes locked on the pleasure filled face of his boss, unable to look away from the expression. His jaw ached and his scalp stung but oddly he never felt better--the pain only complimenting his desire. His free hand reached up and cupped Kyle's balls, stroking them gently.

Clyde knocked on me to Mr. Broflovski's office, humming a little tune to hear myself. He was pretty pleased Princess had gone with his advice, even if she hadn't responded in awhile, and he just had some documents to deliver to Mr. Broflovski. He would have just left it with the new secretary but he was mia at the moment.

Kyle tried to hold in a moan as Kenny continued to please him, getting close to release as he heard the knock on his door. He couldn't have someone come in yet not when he was so close. Keeping quiet Kyle desperately hastened his pace.

Kenny nearly choked, the increased pace making it now all but impossible to breath. He tightened his throat in hopes of coaxing Kyle's release--he didn't really want to die of asphyxiation. It might get him fired. Still--the tension and urgency in Kyle's actions only made him more aroused. He didn't even hear the knocking beyond his lusty haze.

Clyde tapped his foot impatiently, was Mr. Broflovski out as well? He could swear he hadn't seen the guy leave the office today. "Mr. Broflovski?" He called through the door, knocking one more time. "You there?"

With a silent moan Kyle came, burying his cock into Kenny's throat. Scooting his chair into his desk he cleared his throat. "What do you need Donovan?"

Heat--salty--Kenny swallowed without a thought, eyes closed as he pumped his own dick harder--then he heard what Kyle said and froze.

Kenny held his breath, a difficult task considering he'd just gone from, and attempted to keep quiet. Heart throbbing in his chest as the fear of being discovered only served to make him harder but he didn't dare stroke himself fro risk of the sound it would make. Getting caught could mean getting fired.

Clyde entered the room, carrying the manilla envelopes containing the paperwork for Kyle. "Got some paperwork for you." He placed it on Kyle's desk without asking and scrunched his nose in distaste. "What's that smell? Dude, I think something's rotten in here or something. Might wanna find that--oh and your secretary is missing."

"I'll have it handled the next time I see the janitor. As for my secretary, I sent him out to fetch me some stuff." Kyle looked through the papers, just waiting for Clyde to leave.

Clyde shrugged, turning around and leaving with a casual wave.

Kenny let out a breath, practically slumping his head in Kyle's lap as the fear faded. His erection, unfortunately, did not.

Once the door shut Kyle allowed himself to relax, slumping in his chair and looking down at the man he just face fucked. "Need a bit of help there?"

Kenny looked up, a dazed lusty look on his face as he let out a nervous giggle. "Please." He said, sounding a bit more like he was begging than he ought to have. "Sir." He added as an after thought, urgency edging his tone.

Moving his chair out of his desk this time Kyle moved to lock the door. Not wishing to get interrupted yet again.

Picking up the petite male Kyle took his seat, placing Kenny in his lap as he pulled out the blondes dick. Firmly and at an even pace Kyle began to jerk him off as he held him.

Kenny groaned, back arching in pleasure as he barely stifled the pleasure resounding out of him verbally. He pressed a hand over his mouth in an attempt, the other clinging to and rumpling Kyle's suit for balance.

Kyle enjoyed the sight, loving the sounds leaving Kenny as he continued to jerk him off. As much as he would like to just fuck the man senselessly he didn't want to be caught.

Kenny gasped, stifling his moan as he came in Kyle's hand, a cry escaping between his fingers as he slumped against Kyle and tried to catch his breath.

Using his clean hand to reach into the desk Kyle grabbed some tissues, taking care of the mess Kenny had made before simply allowing the man to relax in his arms.

It would be a completely blatant lie for the man to say the blonde wasn't a good lay. Fucking hell, the things he'd do if it we're just the two of them in the building...

Kenny nuzzled against the man's neck, deciding to have a bit of vengeance and nipping at Kyle's neck softly, teasing at a hickey without daring to mark the man up.

"Did I do good?" He murmured against Kyle's skin, licking it softly.

A soft groan left Kyle as the other teased his neck, loosely wrapping his arms around Kenny. "Mmhmm, better than expected."

Kenny could almost take offense at the phrasing--and he did, nipping a bit harder in protest. "You know to expect better from me now then." He said, a touch pouty that the man who seduced him hadn't expected much from him. "Sir."

A light chuckle left Kyle as he pecked the others pouty lips. "Of course, though you never know when someone's all talk. Can you blame me for not expecting more?"

Kenny clicked his tongue, petty emotions momentarily evaporating after the kiss--it was strange, he could blow the guy and still have an attitude but a tiny peck and he felt fluttery. It seemed to be a Kyle-exclusive response though...

"I'm very efficient." Kenny bragged, speaking as though he was in an interview to conceal his momentary giddiness. "You can always expect a tip-top performance from me." He grinned devilishly, resting his arms on Kyle's shoulders and winking. "Or a performance with The Tip if necessary."

Kyle rolled his eyes at the lewd joke, toying with a strand of Kenny's hair as he smiled at the man in his lap.

Would it hurt to let him keep the memories?

Alright--no, he can't be allowing that. This was his employee, nothing more. A quick fuck won't--cant change that. He doesn't know the man well enough to allow such a thing.

"Once you step out of here, none of this happened. Got it?"

"As you wish." Kenny winked, chuckling. This dude really knew how to wreck an after-glow this his obsession with secrecy. Seriously, how many times was he going to ask Kenny to keep silent--

\--shit, he wasn't married or someshit was he? Kenny hadn't seen a ring but his pulse spiked with panic as he tried to recall if anyone in the office had mentioned a relationship--he was going to need to figure out for sure.

Kenny was No One's mistress. He'd tell on the cheating bastard himself if he found something--he calmed himself down, he had no reason to believe the guy was taken other than his obsession with secrecy which could have birthed from anywhere--He should wait until he knows more before making an assessment.

He could enjoy this moment at least, right? The feel of Kyle's hands brushing aside his locks filled his stomach with those now familiar butterflies and he didn't quite want it to end.

Kyle grew concerned as he heard the others heart race, moving his hands from Kenny's hair to rub along his back in hopes of easing the other's concerns. Just what could be running along in the blondes mind?

Did he know what he was...?

Well no matter, he'd forget the moment he stepped foot outside the room. It would solve itself and no one would know.

To top it off, he knew he had to go soon. Rebecca would be showing up from lunch to discuss business. He hardly got a moment to relax these days, but at least he knew this woman was in the same boat as him. Neither of them wished to wed as their parents desired.

"Thanks sweetheart." He placed a small kiss on Kenny's forehead, letting himself enjoy this for now.

Kenny rolled his eyes at the casual pet-name. It was similar to the one Kyle had used when he still thought Kenny was a girl. He should have felt condescended--but he found the casual pet-name kind of cute. He smiled despite himself, one of those smiles that takes up all the space on a person's face with a happy giddy feeling.

He enjoyed this--the racy adventure, the weird kinks, the moments of gentleness--it all wound together and made his interest in his boss grow significantly.

'I am Definitely going to continue taking TacoLuver's advice.' He thought, leaning in to place a kiss at the base of Kyle's ear, nipping it softly. "Anything for you, sir. I'm one hell of a secretary."

The action eliciting a shiver from the redhead, Kyle grazed his teeth along Kenny's exposed neck. Placing a few stray kisses on the teased area.

"Good, perhaps I could treat you to dinner as a reward for such behavior?"

Kenny grinned in the safety of his hidden alcove, the kisses reminding him of the start of their tryst pleasantly. "Am I allowed to remember we have dinner plans?" He teased happily.

Kyle snorted at the light jab, poking the twinks side. "Of course, after all, if you didn't remember just who would I treat this evening?"

Kenny pulled away to look Kyle in the face, happiness dancing in his eyes as he attempted to keep a straight face. "I'll make sure your schedule is clear then, sir."

Kyle couldn't help but melt slightly at the gorgeous smile adorning the others face, the pad of his thumb grazing over Kenny's cheek. "Go handle what you need to, alright?"

"Okay." Kenny grinned, daring to peck Kyle's nose before standing up, fixing up his shirt and winking at his boss. "See you tonight."


	5. Chapter 5

**r/whoosh**

One date turned into two dates.

Two dates turned into three dates.

And while there had been some enthusiastic teasing--Kenny had yet to get the sexy redhead to bed.

It was the afternoon before their fourth date that Kenny finally felt the inclination to brag.

Kenny tried not to rush back to his desk, ignoring the look the mailroom guy sent his way as he hurriedly opened up the browser and began typing.

[Princess: IT WAS TOTALLY A SEX THING!!! jesusfuck u guys had me worried vampires were a thing when my boss just wanted to fuck :/ Rude~]

[TacoLuver69: lol TOLD U I guess theres horny bosses everywhere. I think mine was masterbating or someshit the other day, his office smelled like cum]

[TeamMom: no kidding...his secretary always looks...disheveled after leaving his office]

[StartSeeker52: have fun princess]

[Princess: u guys work together?]

Kenny hummed happily going through his work cheerfully--making extra sure to allow free time in Kyle's schedule for an evening out--and greeting the pretty brunette Ms. Cottswald for her meeting, using the intercom to inform Kyle of her arrival.

Once the ginger heard of Rebecca's arrival Kyle instructed for her to be let in his office.

[TeamMom: Yup]

[TacoLuver69: noshit I think the boss is banging the secretary 🤣 but wait isn't the secretary a dude? D r a m a... Wait isn't the boss engaged?]

[Princess: u guys have an insane sounding workplace... Or is this shit srsly just normal for offices???]

[caff3in3ismyantidrug: you didn't invite your boss over did you?! You shouldn't trust him!!!!!]

Kenny gestured for Ms. Cottswald to enter the office, enthralled by the drama unfolding on Reddit..

[comedian-on-stilts: @Princess so why do you know its a sex thing now? did u fuck?]

[Princess: @comedian-on-stilts uhhhhhhhhhhhh is it slutty if i did?]

[TacoLuver34: absolutely! way to go princess! Gettit gurl and drama is totes normal OMG LOL I THINK I JUST SAW THE BOSSES FIANCE ENTER HIS OFFICE HOLYFUCK looks like shit could go DOWN if he isn't packing air freshener]

[Princess: @tacoluver34 shit fr? thats amazing XD keep me updated!! at least my boss isn't engaged lmfao]

[Princess: ....i dont think so at least]

Kyle nodded in acknowledgement to his "fiance". Please, if anything she was an over glorified business partner and she knew it. They both did. Neither of them wished to be together and it was obvious that until either of them found someone that they did love that this little act wasn't ending any time soon. It was for the best, either that or their parents would have a cow.

Kenny bit his lip thoughtfully as he waited for a response. He'd completely forgotten about his earlier concern that his boss might be so secretive because of a current relationship. The giddiness from his previous delight faded as he worried about it.

...Kyle wouldn't have taken out on dates if he was otherwise engaged, right? Then again--if dramas were to be believed cheating bastards could be rather blase in their activities.

[TacoLuver69: @princess girl, u didn't check first???]

[comedian-on-stilts: @princess well ur fucked]

[caff3in3ismyantidrug: @princess I TOLD U NOT TO TRUST HIM!!!! he could be after ANYTHING!!]

[Princess: calm ur tits guys i didn't say he WAS engaged, i just said idk if he is]

The meeting went along smoothly, the ginger even informing her of his interest in the blonde. It was part of their agreement after all. He didn't wish to breach it, if anything it meant the two of them could slowly break this to their parents if he did form a serious relationship with the other.

The redditers didn't let up on him so Kenny closed the browser, putting his full focus into his work until the work day concluded--his previous excitement over his strange secret date now hampered with anxiety. He arranged Kyle's meetings, took calls, ran errands--all of his normal work duties. When the clock struck six he cleared his throat and knocked on his bosses door.

"It's time for your dinner appointment, sir." Kenny called through the door, feeling a bit of excitement re-grow at the thought. Just because tacoluver's boss was a cheating asshole didn't mean  _ his _ boss was.

Kyle smiled as he heard Kenny, gathering what need be before leaving his office. "Ready to go, darling?" His posture was more relaxed as he clocked out, happy to be done for the day.

Kenny felt that new familiar Kyle-Flutter assault his stomach as he saddled next to his boss as they left the building. "Yup! I got us reservations at the Italian place listed in your datebook for 'private occasions'." He’d mostly gotten used to booking their dates. This was the first one that wasn’t within walking distance of their building though.

Kyle offered his arm to the other, a smile not leaving as he quirked a brow. "Well they'll be surprised I'm bringing you instead of my business partner then.~"

Kenny took the offered arm, fluttery feeling returning with a vengeance. Kyle wouldn't offer an arm if he was a mistress, right?

As they left the building he was at a loss. He had taken the subway to work but he was suddenly aware that his fancy lawyer boss probably hadn't. Shit, should he have reserved a car to take them? Fuck. Did he already fuck this up?

Kyle led the way to his car, unaware of the worries running in the blondes mind as he unlocked the vehicle.

Kenny let out a little breath, sitting in the passenger seat and berating himself for the momentary panic. Of course the lawyer had a car.  _ Doi _ . He sat down and peeked up at Kyle--the sudden privacy offered by a vehicle reminding him of every previous time he'd been in private with the man. Arousal stirred up inside of him as he peeked at the man.

Kyle started up the car, a pleased sigh leaving him as the AC hit him and the radio faintly played. "Relax a little, you seem tense."

Kenny grinned sheepishly. "Can you blame me? Dates with hot redheads are my weakness.”

Wait, was he allowed to call this a date? He bit his bottom lip as nerves assailed him again. He at least knew the thing with Kyle was a sex thing--but a date thing was a different thing and he didn't want to assume… Were the other times dates? Or just a prelude to more sexually charged moments?

He wanted it to be a date though.

"You shouldn’t be. If anything I should be the nervous one, I rarely go on dates." Kyle confessed as he got the two of them on the road and on their way to the restaurant. A bit of tension leaving him as Kenny called this a date.

Happy he wasn't the only one interested.

Kenny smiled to himself giddily. "Oh? I would think you'd be beating babes off with a stick. Is there a defect I should know about?" He asked mischievously.

"If you consider gay and picky being a defect then I suppose those are things to consider." The vampire chuckled lightly as he drove.

"Awww, that means I'm your taste then~." Kenny teased, a pleased smile settling in his face. His 'picky' boss didn't go out with just anyone-- _ Kenny _ was special.

He filed the information away as well--clearly his boss wasn't using him as a mistress if he didn’t normally take people out.

He couldn't help but relax around the other, the air about him being infectious with playful banter and sly flirting that was so enjoyable.

It didn't take long for them to reach the restaurant, the ginger holding the door open for Kenny to be polite. Even going as far as to offer the man his arm.

A goddamn gentlemen type then. Kenny took note.

Kenny grinned, accepted the offered arm and let himself be guided towards the restaurant. "Do you go here often?" He asked, glancing at the place and sort of wishing he was wearing better than his work-casual clothes. A turtleneck and dress pants weren't necessarily fancy restaurant material.

"On occasion, their food is great and their meeting rooms are comfortable." Kyle said off handedly, running his thumb along the back of Kenny’s hand as they were guided to their seats.

Kenny smiled, the small gesture filling him with confidence as they were brought to the table. "Well, it'll be a good opportunity to check how good your tastes are." Kenny grinned teasingly. "Can't help but wonder about them if you're asking me out."

"Well, for starters you have a backbone, a sense of humor, and you keep me on my toes." Kyle had no shame in saying these things to Kenny, taking his seat with a graceful air about him.

Hot damn. The way Kyle said it so matter of factly made Kenny's cheeks warm as he tried to hide the response with a menu. "Good to know I can expect good things from the food then." He quipped awkwardly, peeking up at the man before deciding to get playful, gently nudging his bosses shin with his foot.

Kyle smiled softly, finding the hue of red cute on the male as he went about picking his order. For how the blonde was acting it was as though he wasn't used to being flirted with.

Kenny eyed his own menu carefully. He'd had a secret plan picking this place aside from it's popularity in Kyle's address book. After a quick but of research he was able to determine that there were items on the menu within his price range which could look as though they were selected because of mood rather than budget. He didn't like the awkward part of a date where his partner questioned why he only ordered appetizers--thus he'd decided a way to avoid that conversation altogether.

When he'd ordered he turned back to his date with a sly smile. "So, what does the high powered lawyer do in his down time? Aside from seducing secretaries."

The comment was enough to earn a snort from the vampire. "Well aside from that I usually spend time with an old friend of mine, play a video game or two if not marathon something or another on netflix. What about you? Aside from seducing your employer."

Kenny smiled coyly, enjoying that Kyle considered himself to have been properly seduced. "Not much lately to be honest, I've been working non-stop since high school and most of my free time is spent sleeping off the exhaustion. Although--now that I've landed myself a nice cushy office job I've found myself with all sorts of free time that needs filling." He bumped Kyle's shin again with his foot, winking suggestively.

Kyle wiggled his eyebrows playfully, nudging the blondes foot with his own. "My my, I do hope you don't mind me intruding on that free time. I doubt this will be the last dinner I take you to."

"Well~" Kenny started coyly, enjoying the game of footsie--half tempted to take it a step farther but restraining himself because Kyle does business here. "I suppose I could pencil you in. You know, here and there~ so long as it fits into both of our schedules and whatnot."

"But of course, which shouldn't be too hard with you skillfully organizing my schedule." Kyle winked, pleased with the attention given and received from Kenny.

"Ya know, that hadn't even occurred to me." Kenny lied brazenly. "Huh, I guess we'll be spending a lot of time together then." He gave a Cheshire grin as the food arrived, feeling ever so much like the cat catching a Canary.

Rolling his eyes playfully at the other Kyle began to dig into his meal, albeit not as good as the man in front of him. All the same it was nice to enjoy with Kenny. "I look forward to it."

The food was better than Kenny had expected--but he had been a bit light-headed of late so solid food was always a welcome way to settle him. He didn't take long to finish though--a carryover from poverty, when food was presented you ate fast for fear it'd be rescinded quickly-- he sipped his water awkwardly to hide the gap in speed of eating.

"So what do you want to do after this?" He asked.

Kyle had taken his time to savor his meal, never having to worry about where the next one would come from or when it would be. All the same he was glad Kenny enjoyed his meal enough to inhale it as fast as he did.

"Well If you still wish to be around me, movies and cuddles at my place?"

Kenny couldn't resist a giggle. He really didn't expect the serious looking man wearing a suit that likely cost more than Kenny was worth to say the word 'cuddles' with a straight face. It was adorable.

The more he got to know his boss, the more he was liking him.

"That sounds perfect." He said with an amused smile.

The giggle alone was able to get Kyle's heart to skip, the way the blondes face lit up so beautifully and his sapphire eyes crinkled. It was breathtaking.

"Wonderful." The redhead couldn't hold back the small smile from crossing his features.

Kenny hardly noticed the look on Kyle's face, the waiter had left a check on their table when they looked about done and he was currently pulling out his wallet to pay his half.

"So what kind of movies are you into?" He asked conversationally.

"Horror, Sci-fi, anything that has a good story to it really." Kyle waved off the others' concern for the check, seeing no point in having his date pay when he could for the both of them.

Kenny put away his wallet obediently--he wasn't up to fighting his boss over a paycheck, at least not this early, and besides judging by the dude's kicks he made Way more than Kenny would this lifetime.

"With that list of tastes I can't tell if you love or hate the Alien franchise." Kenny commented, giving Kyle an amused look. "I mean, on one hand it's horror and scifi--on the other the alien looks like a giant weird dick that puts tinier dicks in everyone's stomachs. And then those dicks burst out like SURPRISE I'm erect!" Kenny mimed the alien bursting out of the stomach scene, a look of pure mischievous delight on his face.

This imagery given only made Kyle chuckle, shaking his head as the blonde mimicked the scene. Nerdy, smart, and cute. Kyle was lucky to have gotten this man's interest. "Alright fair point, in the very least it's fun to watch late at night."

Kenny raised an eyebrow, an impish expression of pure glee crossing his features. "I never said it wasn't fun to watch, I'm always open to surprisingly erect giant dicks." He adored how easily Kyle had walked into that one.

Kyle face palmed, the smile only growing on his face. "I swear to god-" He said between snickers as he shook his head. "I take it you were dying to let that out?"

Kenny leaned against Kyle's side, smile still lighting up his features as he whispered to him. "Not as much as you're dying to let your alien out."

This man was going to kill him.

This man personally was seeing to his death, and Kyle was loving it. Leaning into Kenny the ginger let out a snort without meaning to, his laughter getting the better of him.

Kenny grinned victoriously--it was something he would take pride in that he'd managed to get a reaction out of the prim and proper looking man. It humanized him--somehow he had this image of the Perfect Rich Lawyer in the Perfect Rich Suit--but he laughed the same as anyone else. Smiles the same--Kenny released some tension in his shoulders.

It was stupid starseekeer geting in his head that his boss was somehow not human. Kenny rolled his eyes at the thought before returning to the moment.

"Good to know I'm right."

"Lets get going you dork." Kyle managed to get out as his laughter calmed. Wiping away a few mirthful tears as he stood up.

"Guess it's true what they say~" Kenny said as they returned to the car. "They mostly come at night~" He looked towards Kyle meaningfully, eyes twinkling with the afternoons activities. "Mostly."

Kyle rolled his eyes playfully, placing his hand on the small of Kenny's back. "Oh shush." Unlocking the car he held open the car door open for the blonde.

Kenny entered, a smile still full of mischief. He had probably a million Alien based innuendos at the ready. Honesty, that movie was a goddamn treasure trove for the dirty minded. Instead of breaking into another one though he took a silent moment to look at the profile of his date.

'Damn, I struck gold.' He bit his bottom lip--he'd half expected Kyle's personality to be intolerable. Really rich and a good fuck--the second half of that summerized the majority of Kenny's dating history--but Kyle was also fun to talk to. It surprised him how much he enjoyed it.

With Kenny in the car Kyle followed suit, starting up the vehicle and making way to his home.

Honestly the night was going better than expected, for what he could tell Kenny wasn't opposed to him being himself outside of work. Hell if anything the man encouraged him to let loose. It was a nice change in comparison to past relationships.


End file.
